The Sun Will Come Out
by Ghirajora
Summary: It takes mere bullets to kill a country, like with any normal human, the only difference being that as long as a country has a population, it will always come back. There was no-one that knew this as well as Tino. [DenFin oneshot] [Warning: Contains subjects of suicide and seasonal affective disorder!]


This story is based on the sensitive subject of suicide and seasonal affective disorder that many people in Northern Nordic countries suffer from due to Polar Nights, some even leading to high suicide rates within that country, Finland especially.  
**_PLEASE DON'T READ THIS IF YOU KNOW THESE SUBJECTS WILL UPSET OR ANNOY YOU_**- I'm not trying to take these subjects lightly, I just write what comes to mind and I'm sorry if this offends anyone.  
This is DenFin, guys. Please don't hate on meh ships.

oOoOo

_It takes mere bullets to kill a country, like with any normal human, the only difference being that as long as a country has a population, it will always come back. There was no-one that knew this as well as Tino.__  
_  
The Finn stared down the barrel of a gun, his warm touch frozen by the cold black metal. His brown eyes dull with an all-too-familiar sadness. His fingers shaking as they landed gently on the trigger. He began to apply some pressure and-  
He sighed, hand dropping to his lap. He looked up to the window that was letting blackness creep into the dark room. Was it day or night? He didn't know. Could he do it like he had so many times before? He'd had this debate far too many times in his head, and it had always ended up with shattered bone and a bullet taking its place. He hated his country at this time of year- he yearned once again for the touch of the sun. The days of the midnight sun would be paradise right now- the darkness of night was perpetual in winter. There was no colour, it was all black, white and grey, and it was always cold, so cold…

His fingertips ran over the body of the gun so tentatively. Even if he could only end it for a bit, wouldn't it be better to let tortured consciousness slip from his grip for a while? Wouldn't it be nice to just sleep for a while without the fear of waking to darkness again? The prospect was just so alluring….

That was until the sound of shifting fabric snapped him from his delusional trance, catching him in the middle of raising the firearm again. There was a tired hum, and the weight on the mattress moved a little as the semi-conscious male beside him turned over and stole most of the quilt in the process. Tino couldn't help a small gasp escaping his lips as he looked around. He saw unruly, gravity-defying hair and a sleepy smile.

"Mmph… Tino, why're you still awake...?" Matthias mumbled, eyes fluttering open. It took him a moment to process the scene in front of him. In a flash Matthias jumped up and threw himself at Tino, knocking them both to the ground and sending the gun skidding across the floor. A gun. That's right. It took him another minute to form the image in his mind again and confirm he was having no nightmare- it soon occurred to him that this was _very_ real. Tino had been about to shoot himself. "Tino, what the hell?!" he demanded, shock and fear clear in his voice, shining through in his eyes, threatening to form tears. His hands clutched the Finn's wrists, holding him down to the cold wooden floor while he looked down at those sad brown eyes, wide and scared, trying in vain to decipher just what had been going on in his mind and what lead him to bring a gun to his head.

All silence. Beneath shuddering, shallow breaths an unsettling quietness fell. Tino didn't dare speak for fear of saying something stupid, something that would infuriate the Dane even more. Matthias didn't need to know about his loathing and terror, he didn't need to know about that feeling that made his heart sink to the depths of the ocean like a brick of lead. He glanced over to the corner where the black metal glinted in the half-light, its surface catching the dull shine of the bedside lamp in the most fascinating of ways. Shimmering in darkness, what a beautiful killing machine. How he hated it too. He looked back at the worried eyes of Matthias and couldn't hold his tongue any longer.

"I-… I'm s- s- so-" His words came out broken and choked in a shaking and hoarse whisper, "Matthias! I'm s- so so- sorry!" He didn't have the strength to struggle free of the Dane's grip, to cling on to him and be consoled, he just lay there and began to sob. He shuddered with each deep gasp, his eyelashes sticky with warm salt tears that cascaded down his face. The normal cheery, innocent boy was reduced to a sobbing wreck because of the Polar Night that lasted to long…*

It was torture to watch this unfold- Tino looked so helpless, so hopeless, so childishly innocent as he made no effort anymore to hold back his crying. Matthias let his hold loosen slowly, leaning back to a crouching position as he eased his arms around the boy and helped him up to sit on the bed where he hugged the Finn tightly and hushed him softly, whispering comforting words in his mother tongue until his crying died down to a sniffling and the occasional whimper.

"It's s-so dark Mattie…" Tino mumbled. His fingers twisted into the older man's shirt, his knuckles turning bone white from the tension of his hold, clinging to his sleeve like it was lifeline and trying so hard to calm his erratic breathing. "I don't know… I don't know w-what I was d-doing!" He trembled against him, his face buried into Matthias' shoulder as he felt the familiar warmth of an embrace that he had long since forgotten.

"Ssh, it's okay…" Matthias replied uncertainly, not sure what else to say. He wasn't exactly one you could call the greatest person ever when it came to consolation and moral support in general but he tried his best. "Don't worry, little one, I'm here to help you through this winter." He sighed, a hand gently stroking Tino's soft blonde hair instinctively. He swallowed thickly, but continued, "You won't have to be alone this time around, okay?"

Every early hour of the winter nights had been the same for Tino for as long as he could remember, each time driving him over the edge again and again-  
Until now. His shaking and sniffling stopped. He slowly pulled away from Matthias and looked up at him, blinking away silent tears.  
"Really?" He asked, his voice so quiet it was almost inaudible.

Matthias looked confused for a moment before his expression turned to a warm and loving smile. "Of course, you silly Finn!" he replied, afterwards adding, "And don't you ever- _ever_- think otherwise." It was naive, ridiculous in his opinion, but he knew that in someone else's eyes it would only be normal to doubt the Dane- he was not the most trustworthy of people, he didn't take everything as seriously as he should, but this was a different matter all together. The younger man's feelings were top priority over everything else, and it only just occurred to him that he may have been neglecting his duty as a loyal friend and lover. At that moment he made a mental vow: he would make it up to him if it was the last thing he did!  
He wiped Tino's tears with his sleeve and brushed the blonde fringe away, then planted a delicate kiss on his forehead. "Now go back to sleep little one." The Dane smiled. He lay down next to the shivering boy and put an arm around him, hugging him closely. "The sun will come out tomorrow, I promise." He whispered, and held the boy until he was peacefully asleep, for once not worrying about the darkness anymore, and Matthias finally felt at ease again, eventually drifting off into the sweet oblivion of sleep too.

It was only a coincidence that- although they didn't know it yet- the next day they would wake up to the first sun of a new year.

_Fin._

oOoOo

*[A Polar Night in North Finland lasts around a month]

Helpful comments are always appreciated, guys ^^

~Ghirajora


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